Mondo and Gretchen: The Showdown
It is difficult to know where to begin when discussing last night’s Project Runway season finale, which Alastair and I watched at his place with our gal pal Christine. At the outset we all agreed that, on the whole, we had been underwhelmed by the talent of the designers this season. It seemed clear to us that had Gretchen or Andy been competing on a previous season they would not have been in the Final Three, because other people would have beaten them out. Which is also to say that we believed Mondo was going to win. How wrong we were. Let’s address a few issues separately, shall we?
The Peach Has a Gay Following Issue: Did you hear her say that in the reunion segment? Did you see that she commented on our post about her? Do we flatter ourselves too much to think that Peach was talking about DOD? Of course we do. But maybe we think that a little bit anyway.
The Fairy Jobmother Issue: Don’t even get me started on the faux job skills workshop conducted by Hayley Thompson that we were all forced to watch during commercial breaks. Clearly inspired by SuperNanny, but with none of her charm, we shan’t be tuning in for episodes of this anytime soon.
The Gretchen Is a Bitch Issue: In the reunion segment (rife with Heidi’s obvious voiceovers) Gretchen explained that she was not a bitch and that that was a word that generally gets used for powerful and confident women. We agree with her on the second count but not on the first. Men clearly are allowed to get away with more in this regard; indeed it is expected of them. But that doesn’t mean that arrogance and two-facedness and delusional self-aggrandizement are attractive characteristics in a woman OR a man. And throughout this season, Gretchen has demonstrated all three in spades. We think this is nasty in a man, too, and we posted about it regarding last season’s resident egomaniac, Emilio Sosa.
The Jessica Simpson Issue: Where to begin? JSimps is clearly in one of her chunkier phases and that dress — maybe from her own collection at Macy’s? — certainly did not help, making her arms look like slabs of meat hanging from her torso. But our main complaint here is with the fact that Project Runway thought it was a good idea to invite her on to be the season finale guest judge! She offered up virtually nothing in the way of constructive criticism: “That’s unique.” “They all clearly put a lot of effort in and care about design.” “I would wear that and I want my sister to wear it, too.” Yes, she finally came down on the side of Mondo, but it was really too little, too late. Whether through editing or not, she said virtually nothing of substance for 95% of her time on screen.
The Immediate Elimination of Andy South Issue: Did I like Andy’s stringy tank tops and even stringier weave, newly introduced for the Season Finale? No, I did not. Did I love his clothes? No. There were two colors involved and the dominant one — seen on virtually all the models — was grey. It was monotonous. But there were a couple cute dresses, including one of the few unique pieces that Simpson bothered to express an opinion about at all. I think what surprised us most was that Andy was quickly and cavalierly removed from contention. We thought Mondo was better than Andy but we thought a reasonable debate could be had about the merits of Andy vs. Gretchen. No such conversation took place.
The Most Important Issue: The trajectory of this season design-wise goes a little like this… Gretchen emerges early on as the talent, then fades a bit mid-season, and by the end is barely squeaking her way into the final three, so egregious have some of her recent choices been. You do recall the Heidi sportswear challenge, yes? Indeed you do. Mondo, on the other hand, was fine to begin with but made some bad juniors-inspired choices in the first half. By the second half he was both a fan favorite, and a consecutive-winning star.
We expected that this trend would continue and in our estimation of the clothes, it did, though we’ll admit that Gretchen did step up her game and that Mondo could have wowed us more than he did. I agreed with Nina that Mondo needed to edit a little more — there was a lot going on in terms of accessories — but I also thought that some of what Gretchen sent down that runway was truly hideous. So your DOD boys and their gal pal were pretty shocked when the debate was as heated as it was: Garcia/Kors vs. Klum/Simpson. Maybe Mondo never had a chance; was la Garcia really going to let JSimps come out on top? Doubtful. But the greater question is why Garcia and Kors preferred Gretchen in the first place. And that leaves us baffled. Gretchen was trumpeted as being a ready-to-wear designer and we can certainly see that she was more casual than Mondo, but where exactly does one wear a pair of drab ill-fitting short shorts and a matching blouse? Who, pray tell, is ready to wear that?
Corn-mazing!
I feel like I have finally become a Coloradan. And it took a visitor — my Gentleman Friend — to make it happen. The GF was here last week and he insisted that he wanted to go to a corn maze. I have done my level best over the past five years to avoid corn mazes. But the GF was having none of it. He wanted fall foods and autumn activities and a hay ride and the corn maze itself. So after extensive internet research, as well as a consultation with his stylist at Supercuts (don’t get me started), we settled on Anderson Farms Corn Maze in Erie. They claim to be Colorado’s largest and longest-running. They also have plenty of other activities, and this was one of the GF’s criteria.
It was a bizarre, though totally enjoyable, experience. I played hooky from work (don’t tell!) on Wednesday. We were surrounded by lots of children, clearly also playing hooky in the middle of the day. This part confused me somewhat. I didn’t really understand why a corn maze would be open in the middle of a weekday, but they seemed to be getting a pretty steady traffic. First we met the various animals: sheep, goats, bunnies, and best of all: BABY GOATS! Really pretty much too adorable for words.
Then we took a wagon ride to visit a few cows — they give you food pellets so you can feed them; cow tongues are insanely large and slobbery — and some buffalo before stopping off at the pumpkin patch, where differently sized pumpkins were available at different prices. If you didn’t want to pick your pumpkin right there, a large assortment was available back at the barn, including gourds (5 for $1; I picked the craziest looking ones of all and they are now the centerpiece of a windowsill autumnal display).
But arguably the best part ( I say “arguably” because that’s how much I love baby goats) was still to come. The MAZE of MAIZE! Each year Anderson Farms designs its maize maze to look like different animals from the air. This time there was a big moose and a bear and an eagle carrying a fish. And, dear reader, it is not easy. You are given a map and then you’re on your own. You follow the maze around to different stations, where you punch your card to prove you made it to each station. I am pleased to report that we didn’t get lost, even as the GF upped the ante by making a new rule: only one navigator to get to each station, like an extended trust game. If our relationship can withstand that kind of stress, we’re in it for the long haul!
We finished the afternoon with a caramel apple (him) and a lemonade (me) before we drove to White Fence Farm so that he could pick up an order of corn fritters ($1.75 for a dozen); longtime readers will know that WFF is a favorite of the GF’s from his days as a child in suburban Chicago, home of the original location. All in all, a very Coloradan day was had by both of us. And that was not such a bad thing at all. (Note that this is perhaps the first and only time I have used the “outdoors” tag on a post! Note also that we have an altogether new tag.)
The Squeaky Bean
We are alive. Even though it seems we have disappeared, we do in fact still exist. There’s been all kinds of busyness going on in the lives of your DOD boys. Work has been hectic for both of us. We’ve both been traveling. And we’ve both had visitors lately. My Gentleman Friend was in town for a few days and Alastair has had some of his best gal pals from SF visiting as well. All of this should have resulted in a series of witty posts about our adventures, but that’s how busy we’ve actually been: all adventure, no posting. I will attempt to right that pattern today, with the first of a series of posts on what we’ve been up to.
My Gentleman Friend and I met up with Alastair for dinner last week at The Squeaky Bean (at Tejon and 33nd in the Highlands). I had been before, but just for lunch; Alastair had been for dinner. We had never dined there ensemble. We were impressed, though maybe not quite as impressed as our gal pal Mama Monroe over at The Denver Omelette, who gave it one of her ravest reviews. We began with a couple glasses of white and a cocktail for the GF, who doesn’t go in much for vino (don’t even get me started). We opted to split a couple appetizers: the pig platter and the chicken liver mousse. Both came with lovely toast points and neither disappointed. This is where we concur with Mama: these folks know their meats. I’m not sure if they know their service quite as well as their meats, as we had to wait to place our orders for quite some time, and this was on a weeknight. I can’t imagine what it might be like on a weekend.
Alastair and I were also pleased with our main courses. Alastair had a deconstructed “no bake” Shepherd’s pie, though he didn’t actually know how deconstructed it would be till it arrived. Very. He wasn’t actually given a knife to deal with his pie and the pieces of lamb were big enough that he could have used one. I opted for the wild boar chops, served with wilted tatsoi and Brussel sprouts faro. Delicious, but the meat was remarkably difficult to cut. It was tender once removed from the bone, but that removal was no easy matter, it must be said. The GF decided he’d go for a couple appetizers for dinner and neither one particularly impressed. The spinach and artichoke dip, though different from what you might expect — indeed it looked like a soup with a flower headband — was not all that thrilling. But the real disappointment was the kohlrabi and apple soup, which had little in the way of flavor, though is served in its own little teapot, poured for you right there at the table. The presentation at the Bean is done with flair.
Dear reader, we weren’t done there; we had dessert. After all, it was a special occasion, the GF being in town. I opted for the crisp apple tartelet with ice cream and a smallish caramel apple. I can barely recall what the GF and Alastair had, so long has it been. But Alastair’s involved a mini milkshake of his very own. And all of them were artfully arranged on our plates. I must say that my apple business surely had some sort of nut in it because my mildish nut allergy was making my throat all scratchy, but a few extra sips of Malbec and an hour later and I seemed to be OK.
All in all, we had a lovely time at the Bean, where we were informed by our waiter that all staff members have their own bean-inspired nickname and beans — coffee beans, green beans, all kinds of beans — make appearances on the menu to unite the restaurant in its bean theme.
It’s Tough to Be a Baby
“Dur dur d’être bébé! (It’s Tough to Be a Baby)” is a 1992 song recorded by French singer Jordy Lemoine, who at only four years old became the youngest singer ever to have a charted number-one single. “And mommy says go to bed, brush your teeth. Don’t pick your nose, don’t do this, don’t do that.” The song achieved quite the success across the world, particularly in France. Don’t ask me how or why this came to mind, but I just had to share. The video is ridiculous.
PR Incredulity: Michael Costello
Alastair and I watched PR at his place on Thursday night — whilst enjoying a little vino rosso and a pizza from Benny Blanco’s — and we were pretty shocked by the outcome. Not shocked that April was eliminated, though if each outfit were judged on its own basis — as opposed to the designer’s entire history, which they always say they won’t do and then do anyway — it should have been Gretchen. But it was April, and we were sad to see her go. We had unexpectedly become fans of April.
No, what shocked us was that Michael Costello won. We were pretty much convinced throughout the episode that he would be going home, or at the very least that he would be in trouble with Nina and Michael Kors. And not because the dress itself wasn’t pretty — it was — but because it was boring. It wasn’t new in the slightest. It has been done and seen before. Michael’s dress was inspired by … get ready … a dress. Need we say more? Apparently we need. If the point of this challenge was to be innovative and creative and bring something new to the runway, then on all three counts Michael failed. But all that seemed to be forgotten by the judges because they thought that Michael had brought the “wow” factor to bear in his design. It is a pretty dress and it did drape well, but if I understand draping at all (and I may not) it seems to me that innovative draping is a little more complicated than what Michael did here. This dress just hangs, tent-like, straight down. Is that so challenging? (Maybe it is; it doesn’t look that challenging, however.) Isn’t this just a big maxi dress with a high slit and a plunging back?
I don’t think that any of the other designers were doing their best on Thursday either. It was all a little ho-hum. But with the exception of Gretchen (“It doesn’t look downtown, or uptown. It looks midtown.” OUCH.) at least each of them designed something unique and something that was very much identifiable as being designed by Andy or April or Mondo. Michael Costello, not so much. Maybe we misunderstood the challenge? In any event, we’re down to four, with one left to be eliminated before they show in Lincoln Center. We’re becoming very curious…
NPR Pledge Drive: Let it End!
If you’re like me, you listen to NPR in the car. I have some exceptions to this general rule: “Car Talk” and “A Prairie Home Companion.” I can abide neither of those. Otherwise NPR is my constant companion when I’m tooling about in my automobile, especially on my morning and afternoon commutes. I love Steve and Renée in the morning (and like it when Linda Wertheimer subs in for either of them, really anyone but Ari; ugh) and Melissa and Robert in the afternoon (I go back and forth about Michele). I am one of those NPR geeks who likes to talk about their favorite newscasters and reporters and the ones they can’t stand. (Perhaps the subject of another post? All I can say is that Ofeibea Quist-Arcton, aside from having the most amazing name, pronounces Dakar in a way that thrills me every single time.)
All of this is just a roundabout way of talking about the fact that I cannot stand pledge week, which I understand ends tomorrow. I get why they do it and I contribute my annual pledge. (I now have a radio bookmark, which I have never used, and at least two tote bags, which I take to the grocery store.) But it bores me to tears. Not just because they take away the programming, though that is part of it, but because the poor people at Colorado Public Radio have to pretend that they are having fun in their silly conversations all day long. I believe that two days ago — at 6:30 AM, no less! — I heard Mike Lamp tell David Rutherford, one of the KVOD classical announcers, that he was “having a blast” chatting that morning about some CD of adagios they were giving away. First of all, I don’t believe them. Lies! Second, even if they are having a blast, I most certainly am not. I’m in pain.
So here’s what I propose for the gift that I receive the next time I make my pledge: a little device (or maybe a special code?) that I can put into my car radio that bypasses pledge drive and takes me straight to regular programming. The earlier you pledge, the quicker you get said device or code. I guarantee that if such a thing could be invented, donations would go through the roof. Until then I encourage everyone else to make their pledges and join me in prayer that tomorrow really is the last day.
Highlands Charcuterie
Fresh off a plane from a work trip to the Midwest, I met up with Alastair at Cellar Wine Bar at the corner of 15th, Umatilla, and Boulder, in the Highlands. Alastair has written about Cellar before, but I had never been. Unsure of what we wanted to do that evening, we decided to start out here and hatch a plan. We each had a couple glasses of wine, Alastair consulting with the friendly barkeep about his choices. By 8:30 we were getting a little hungry so we ordered a selection of cheeses and pâté de campagne: any three meats and cheeses for $15. They come served with bread, olives, marcona almonds, and fresh raspberries. The pâté was delicious and so were the cheeses: a Camembert and a local Cabra Blanca. Alastair and I decided that sometimes a well chosen platter like this is just about all that’s necessary for a satisfying meal. And Cellar delivers, on both the snacking and the vino.
But we wanted more. So we headed out in search of a second course. We stopped in at Root Down, one of our faves, but it was crowded and we couldn’t be seated for about 45 minutes. Just at that moment we got a text from our gal pal Christine. He and our friend Gareth were just settling in at À Côté, the wine and absinthe bar à côté de Z Cuisine on 30th at Wyandot. So we met up with them there. And indulged in yet more charcuterie: pork shoulder rilletes, more pâté de campagne, local cheeses, saucissons, and cornichons, accompanied by a number of freshly prepared garnishes and French bread (which Alastair declared the best baguette he’d had in Denver!). Alastair ordered a glass of chenin blanc; I chose Sauvignon blanc. Upon their arrival we each tasted our own, and then each other’s, announced in unison that we preferred each other’s to our own, and promptly switched. Gareth and Christine giggled at us and sipped their Manhattans. While we definitely enjoyed the charcuterie platter we had at Osteria Marco in February, these two Highlands plates were also delicious and, together, fully satisfying. Who needs an entrée when one can graze like this?

























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