Down and Out in Denver

Gretchen Calls the Shots

April may have summed it up best, and it is from her that I take this post’s title, though even she had no idea what was in store for Team Luxe when she asked the question above. Hitler as a point of reference is undoubtedly extreme, but Gretchen proved herself the ultimate Project Runway villain last night.  And clearly she had already been practicing.

The sad thing, of course, is that while Gretchen is clearly a backstabbing, egocentric, arrogant evildoer, she is probably the most talented of the bunch.  She’s also tall, stylish, articulate (if verbose), and pretty.  Damn her!  Our only consolation is that this time she got a little comeuppance, and from the usually reticent Tim Gunn.  But first the episode…

As we settled in to watch PR last night with Alastair’s homemade caesar salad (anchovies!), a Fat Sully’s pepperoni pizza, and a bottle of chilled pinot grigio (97 in Denver yesterday!), we knew things were gonna get nasty as soon as Heidi announced a team challenge.  And big teams, at that.  I will admit that I didn’t think that the military lace gang had a shot from the get-go.  Yes, they had Valerie (who is probably our one hope to take down Gretchen), but they also had Casanova and April. Further, they were proposing Military Lace as their theme and fabric.  How could this end well?

And indeed I have to say that I don’t think that either collection actually worked out all that well, though Alastair and I both agreed with the judges that Team Luxe was the worst: ill-fitting, drab, baggy, and largely lifeless. But Team Military & Lace also just seemed a little tacky to me.  I kind of agreed with Ivy and the dreaded Gretchen that it wasn’t remarkably cohesive sometimes.  The blue popped up from time to time (the outfits of Peach and Valerie) but always seemed a little out of place.  And some of the lace and extra hardware appeared a wee bit tacky to me, like a shopping spree at Forever 21 or some such. But clearly it was leaps and bounds ahead of Team Luxe, who may have been all kinds of cooperative but also sent an ocean of beige boringness down the runway.

Gretchen and teammates in happier times

Let me just say that from the moment that Team Luxe vowed backstage that they would not turn on each other, I knew we were in for some true fun.  Because there was no way they were going to stick to it.  And indeed they did not.  I can see, of course, why they all turned on Michael Costello.  Not only did he have immunity (as the judges continually pointed out), but what the judges don’t seem to see is that he appears to be remarkably unskilled, and the other designers really did spend a good deal of time helping him out.  It doesn’t help matters that they were all so irked at what they believe (and I agreed) was his undeserved win of the week before.  But oh, Gretchen, you need to just shut up!  If you could keep a  lid on it, most people (the DOD boys included) wouldn’t hate you so much.  But she just can’t stop herself.  In the beginning she kept on bossily repeating — choking back the tears — that the judges needed to be “mindful” of how cooperatively they had worked and how proud of their collection they were. And then, when push came to shove, all of them — save A.J. — turned on Michael.  And Gretchen completed her 180 revolution, claiming falsely that she had never liked the collection and had tried valiantly to salvage it with styling at the last minute. At least Gretchen was reprimanded by the judges when she appeared in the final two, but it was clear to all watching that it was A.J. who would be saying auf wiedersehen.

Bless your heart, Tim Gunn.  Rare are the moments when he expresses any sort of opinion about what happens on the runway. (Long-time viewers may recall an earlier moment where he called out a designer who had lied outright to the judges.) But he went after Gretchen this time around. I cannot wait to see the fallout from this episode next week!

See our Season Finale Wrap-up Here.