Cultivating Sameness on HGTV
Greetings readers! I’ve now returned to D-Town, but only for a day before both Alastair and I head out to the city by the Bay for some New Years celebrating! But I’ve been lax about posting, so I give you this, my first installation on my obsession with HGTV.
HGTV, to which I was introduced only about a year ago, is the acronym for Home and Garden Television and features shows about … you guessed it, homes and gardens. The shows can be divided into two genres: the Makeover shows and the Real Estate shows. Occasionally, as in “Designed to Sell,” they overlap: make over house so that it can sell. But most stick to one format or another. I far prefer the latter (many of which seem to be filmed in Denver and environs, including one with DaOiD’s own moniker — which we have finally managed to supplant in a Google search). It’s like real estate pornography: so many homes, so little time! And there is something completely voyeuristic about watching other people search for homes. On the good ones, like “My First Place” or “Property Virgins,” you even get to hear the conversations about their budgets and mortgages and on all of them you get a sense of how these people (families, couples [gay and straight], single people, and occasionally friends) operate together. The shows are on all the time and they’re completely addictive. This post, in other words, cannot possibly do justice to all I have to say about HGTV.
So let me begin by discussing one of the things that, despite my love for them, bothers me about the people on the real estate shows. Almost all of the house-hunters make a list of what they’re looking for and almost all of them – despite lots of variations in terms of size, house vs. apartment, city vs. country, number of bedrooms – demand five features. And, you guessed it, dear readers, it’s those features with which I have a problem. Before I tell you why, let’s review the wish list, shall we?
1. Open floor plan. Especially for the kitchen in its relationship to the dining room and living room (or, absurdly, “great room”). No one wants walls these days, it would seem. And many people say this is because they want to be able to converse with their guests when they entertain. How often do these people entertain?
A particularly hideous granite-countertopped island in a kitchen that appears open to the rest of the house
2. Granite countertops in the kitchen. I’m not a huge fan of granite myself, and while I do recognize that Formica is pretty ugly, let’s think outside the box just a little bit people. What about limestone or tile or slate or stainless steel or poured concrete or butcher block? There are ways to make one’s kitchen look new or updated or attractive without the shiny and sparkly veined granite.
3. Stainless steel appliances. Nothing else will do. Don’t even try to cross these people.
4. A master suite with ensuite bath. Even in houses built before such things were customary, people demand that their master bedroom be enormous (the word “sanctuary” is thrown around far too frequently) and that it have a separate private bathroom. Even when these people do not plan to live with anyone other than themselves; from whom do they seek privacy?
The Requisite Double Vanity
5. Double vanities/sinks in the ensuite bath. So convinced seem these people that they will be fighting over sink time that I have actually seen a house rejected, despite having everything else on the list, because the bathroom only had – gasp – one sink.
So what’s my beef? The first is that, with the possible exception of the stainless steel appliances, I think these things are silly. They are status symbols foisted upon would-be home-buyers by the makeover shows on networks like HGTV, and in turn by their corporate sponsors who manufacture many of them. I’m not fully persuaded that all of these people really want these things for any particular reason but they definitely know they are supposed to want them. And request them they do. It is how they plan to prove to their friends and family that they got a nice house. This is conspicuous consumption, in other words.
The second is that I’m disturbed by the fact that everyone seems to want exactly the same house. Whether this is also the influence of home and makeover shows or the overwhelming preference that many of these buyers seem to have for newly constructed houses, I dread the homogenization of the American home. Although many of these people claim a desire to find a home that “expresses who we are as a couple/family,” what that means in practice is apparently that they are exactly the same as all other home-buying couples and families of the early twenty-first century (if HGTV can be taken to be at all representative).
And that’s just sad. To get a real sense of the differences between the U.S. and home-buyers in other countries, check out “House Hunters International,” but that’s the subject of another post.
Happy Holidays from DaOiD
While Blake spends his holiday on the East Coast, I have the pleasure of spending my first Christmas in Denver. And speaking of the holidays, Denver’s City and County Building is once again shining bright this holiday season. Enormous candy canes, Christmas trees, and even tin soldiers flank its windows. A Nativity scene illuminates the front steps, and virtually every surface is awash in color.
The tradition, which apparently began in 1935 with only a few floodlights, had grown to more than 30,000 lights in 2008. The display is touted as one of the most popular in the Intermountain West, drawing visitors from all over the state and beyond. This year was the first in which the City and County employed LEDs: 1,000 LED spotlights and 2,000 LED rope lights according to reports.
I consider myself an aesthetically inclined individual and it’s thought by many to be a requirement for the work I do. So, admitting that I enjoy the Vegas-like spectacle of this annual tradition, may be damaging to my career. I should be clear, very clear, I could do without the candy canes, tin men, and in particular, the religious imagery… Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I believe in a practice of “less is more.”
Lyon's Festival of Lights
The celebration actually reminds me of Lyon’s Fête de Lumières which takes place every December. I would love to see Denver expand the scope of its “Grand Illumination,” to become more aesthetically pleasing, while also pushing the envelope of experimentation. Safe is sorry. It should also be said that unlike Lyon’s four-day event, where the city’s buildings are illuminated by an array of multi-media, Denver’s Grand Illumination continues for EVERY evening, beginning at 6:00 p.m., from Black Friday to New Year’s Eve AND if that wasn’t enough, again for the duration of the National Western Stock Show and Rodeo in January. It’s just too little for too long and it gets old real fast.
Multi-media projection on the facade of Saint-Jean Cathedral, Lyon.
So, with that final observation the DaOiD boys would like to wish you the brightest of holidays, no matter which you choose to celebrate… or where you choose to celebrate it. As we look ahead to a new year and a new decade our hopes are that Denver will choose the road less traveled. We admit it… Denver has its bright spots and we, as much as I’m sure you do, look forward to them becoming even brighter.
Happy Holidays.
Greetings…
…from the other side of the Blizzard of 2009, which stopped me in my tracks as I made my way to the East coast yesterday. Stranded in Boston overnight, I camped out en famille before making my way further up the coast early this morning in this:
Kim and Katie with the aircraft
That’s right, dear readers, I flew in that. While the plane seats nine if someone sits in the co-pilot’s seat (and I have!), there were only three of us this fine morning. Plus Katie, the pilot. The flight was a little choppy, thanks to all the leftover wind, but we made it to our destination (below) in just under an hour. There was snow everywhere but Katie brought it in for a smooth landing and Kim had everything unpacked and at the “terminal” in about five minutes. Together Katie and Kim must comprise about half of the airport staff.
The Airport
The terminal itself is the one building pictured above with a trailer tacked on the back; that’s where we wait after going through screening. And I should say that the screening here is the most thorough and persnickety I’ve ever experienced. They are not messing around. They also ask for your weight (flying here or back) and often informally assign people to seats based on that weight. Once you’ve given up your carry-on luggage (it goes in the wings) you’re free to board.
Arriving in this manner is all worth it, however, when this view awaits, a far cry from D-town even when gray:
Happy Holidays to all from the East coast!
xoxo
Blake
Animal Chin
This past Wednesday, Joshua Trinidad kicked off KUVO’s Jazz Odyssey with Jaga Jazzist’s “Kitty Wu.” I was instantly reminded of just how much I enjoy listening to the ten-piece, jazz-meets-electronics band’s risky, sprawling, and somehow serene sounds. Then I recalled the 2002 video for “Animal Chin” from the group’s absolutely intoxicating album A Livingroom Hush. The video, produced by Oslo based AKFF!, is a fast paced and frenetic animation constructed out of cut photos and magazine clippings. I can only imagine the number of man hours that went into its making… all of them worth it.
If you have an opportunity, check out Jazz Odyssey on 89.3 FM KUVO, Mondays through Thursdays from 10:00 p.m. to midnight. It’s a great program and proof that all does not suck in Denver. If you are on the outside, you can tune in online.
Barolo Grill
Last night, after a number of postponements, Alastair and I ventured out to the Italian restaurant, Barolo Grill, on East Sixth Avenue. We were accompanied by two southern lady friends of ours and we had ourselves just a great time. Hey y’all!
The four of us had an enormous extravaganza of a meal. We began by splitting two appetizers, both of which were very tasty: a fritto misto of calamari, rock shrimp, and scallops with some spicy peppers; and, from the tasting menu, some sort of mini scallops and mushrooms in a squash purée. Both were de-lish, so much so that one of our southern lady friends (whom I’ll call Bethany Sue) in not so lady-like fashion used her fingers to scoop up the remaining purée. It was that good.
Grilled Hearts of Romaine with Speck and White Anchovies
We then moved on to salads. Alastair and I both had the grilled romaine hearts salad with speck and a horseradish/mustard dressing. We opted to add white anchovies and were not disappointed. Well, I wasn’t; Alastair likes his anchovies fuzzier and saltier. (See photo above.) Bethany Sue went for the mixed greens (ho hum, but what can you expect?) and Bonita Lou (our other southern gal pal) had the mixed seafood salad: Dungeness crab, calamari, lobster, and rock shrimp, tossed with celery and tomatoes. It was super cold, just as it should be, and wholly delicious.
Mushroom Risotto
Now we come to the main course, and it was here, dear reader, that your intrepid diners were somewhat disappointed. Bethany Sue and I went for the grilled ahi tuna, which came with braised leeks (I loves me some leeks!), fried gnocchi, and tomato broth. The tuna could have had more flavor and it could have been hotter. Our waiter had also warned us that it would just be seared (it was, after all sushi-grade tuna) and we both acquiesced to this enthusiastically. Well, turns out only Bethany Sue’s was seared; mine was cooked pretty much right through. Alastair had the flatiron steak, which was fine, though none too thrilling, and Bonita Lou went for the mushroom risotto: flavor was good but it was a little on the runny side.
Dessert
We drank wine throughout, chosen from their extensive wine list – it has a table of contents – and finished off the meal with two chocolate ganache truffles for the table and some digestifs. Those Southern gals love their Baileys!
Finally, the service and the décor: One was fantastic, the other not so much. Can you guess which? Our waiter was a Chatty Cathy throughout the evening but it must be said that we were nothing if not encouraging. He was also attentive and knowledgeable and brought us what we wanted when we wanted it. So all good on that front. The décor, on the other hand, could use some work, or perhaps more to the point, less work. Barolo is, in a word, busy. It’s as if the owners have just picked up one of this and one of that wherever they’ve gone. Thrown up on the walls are plates and paintings and Christmas decorations and lights and fake plants and real plants and pictures and posters and you name it. And then there are the niches filled with any number of knick knacks and tchotchkes. Combine this with the fact that the space itself is not large and not quiet and it’s all a little overwhelming. Just a little decorative editing would do Barolo a world of good.
All that said, and the slightly disappointing entrées nothwithstanding, the DaOiD boys and their Southern lady friends had a fantastic evening and would be excited to give it all another whirl sometime in the future. New friends and good food; how can you go wrong?
Charlotte Gainsbourg
I heart Charlotte Gainsbourg and even though she is better known as an award-winning actress, her career as a musician has also been significant. For her third venture into record making, titled IRM (French for MRI), Gainsbourg enlisted the aid of American musician, singer-songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist Beck who wrote the album’s music and co-wrote the lyrics. The first single, a Gainsbourg/Beck duet “Heaven Can Wait,” is available on iTunes. The surreal Keith Schofield-directed video features a series of visual non sequiturs set in slow motion. IRM is expected January 26, 2010. In the meantime, you can listen to clips from the entire album, including my favorite track, “Greenwich Mean Time,” here.
Charlotte Gainsbourg | IRM
Grand Lux at Park Meadows
Sometime during our adventure on Saturday night Alastair and I decided that we wanted to go to a mall the next day. The logic of this decision now escapes me; maybe something to do with holiday shopping? And for some reason we decided to go to the Park Meadows Mall, which we had never visited before. That’s right, readers, we were off to the suburbs!
After a late start yesterday – too many cocktails the night before – we set out around noon down I-25 and upon our arrival in Lone Tree decided to have lunch immediately. We walked through the food court – known as the dining hall at Park Meadows – but it was all the usual suspects, and it was also crowded with lots of screaming children. Consulting a mall map we discovered that a restaurant called the Grand Lux Café was located nearby – though you had to exit the mall to get to it; presumably this is a way of attracting non-mall-goers to dine – and we headed outside to check out the menu. As we perused it a couple emerged from within; “It’s really good,” said a man wearing a truly unfortunate pair of knock-off True Religion jeans. That should have been our first hint, but we went in anyway.
The Ceiling at the GLC
The first thing that must be said about the Grand Lux Café is that it is indeed grand and lux. It’s as if the developers told the designer: “I don’t care what you do as long as it looks expensive!” And the designer thought, “I know just the thing: gold! Lots of gold. And purple, too. Like royalty!” The space itself is enormous and covered in gold and purple and bangles and lamps and shiny gilt and faux finishing and any number of other big, fancy, shiny details designed to make one feel that one is dining in sumptuous luxury. The menu is equally large and just as capacious. There is no culinary theme to the Grand Lux menu; whatever your little heart might desire can be yours. Indeed they boast that they have “something for everyone.” Our waitress, whom I’ll call Lauren, asked us if we’d been to Grand Lux before (why is it that every server now asks this question? The subject of another post), and when we admitted that we were GLC virgins, warned us that portions were huge (her word). From beginning to end, Lauren was the best thing about the GLC: attentive and friendly without being overly so.
Alastair's Soggy Salad
And she was right about the portions, which were indeed sizable. The food was ho-hum, but no great surprise there. I had a chicken salad sandwich with fries. The sandwich was on the runny side but still reasonably tasty. Alastair had an overly dressed salad and a lunch portion (still enormous) of spaghetti carbonara. The carbonara was more “Alfredo with bacon and peas” than a proper carbonara; no clinging egg and cheese here, just sauce. But really, who cares about the food, which we expected to be pretty standard anyway?
Let’s talk about the people, and here, dear reader, be forewarned: I am about to reveal myself for the snob that you’d probably already suspected me to be. While most people there, like us, seemed to have been shopping, there were clearly also groups who had come to the Park Meadows Mall just to go to the GLC for lunch. Big groups of people who ordered lots of appetizers and cocktails and glasses of wine and talked about their planned trips to Cedar Point this summer. I guess this is something that happens in the suburbs. It was new to us. Directly across from me (I faced the aisle; better people-watching) were three tables. Table one: two gays, one of them wearing what Historiann has told me is an Ed Hardy T-shirt (lots of unnecessary graffiti-like designs). I couldn’t tell if they were on a date or this was a “morning after” sort of scenario (they ordered breakfast for lunch), but both seemed equally disturbing, given our mall-restaurant location. Table two: two very pretty bottle-blondes in designer duds who must have taken about a minute and a half to say a complicated grace before diving into their meals. Now if grace is really that important, aren’t there other places to be at midday on the Sabbath? And finally, a table of four suburban women who were clearly enjoying a “girls day out” shopping. That is, of course, what I had expected of the GLC; the gays and the designer Christians surprised me somewhat more. Once again, however, and as in my trip to White Fence Farm, I am reminded that traveling just a few short miles outside of “the city” (yes, in quotation marks) can make me like Denver that much more. Add to that our discovery that the men’s selection at the Park Meadows Nordstrom has nothing on Cherry Creek – itself pretty limited – and we returned to Denver with a renewed sense of appreciation.
Il Posto
Alastair, here. Surprised? I know Blake is. As you may have read, I like to peruse blogs more than write them and I have just returned from a lengthy and very welcomed trip to France and Spain with two of my best gal pals, hence my prolonged absence from DaOiD. My apologies. Since returning from Europe, Blake has been pushing me to write my first post, and well, you don’t want to cross Blake… just saying. You just might find some “Skinny ‘n’ Sweet” in your coffee the next morning.
Il Posto
As you are aware, the DaOiD boys like to dine out and this past weekend we made a stop at one of our favorite neighborhood-dining establishments, Il Posto. According to the website, Il Posto offers “a truly cosmopolitan experience in a vibrant, hip space” and the “ever-changing menu” features “local organic produce and meats with seafood flown in daily.” Milanese chef/owner Andrea Frizzi prepares dishes inspired from Northern Italy and we’ve tried many of them: homemade pappardelle with marjoram sausage ragu and oyster mushrooms; potato gnocchi with a great spinach pistachio pesto and caramelized fennel; grilled buffalo flank steak with mizuna and shaved Piave cheese; and the burrata stuffed chicken, pan roasted with organic oyster mushrooms, house cured pancetta and Peroni beer. 5280 Magazine voted Il Posto as their best Italian Restaurant for 2007 and for many good reasons.
The handwritten menu board
This visit began with two glasses of a nice dry white wine and the tagliere, a small selection of delicious cold cuts and cheeses consisting of speck, coppa, prosciutto di Parma, gorgonzola dolce (a younger cheese, not as pungent and not as dry or crumbly as the aged gorgonzola), Piave (a cow’s milk cheese), and Ubriaco al Prosecco (an unpasteurized cow milk cheese that is brushed with wine; in this case, Prosecco). We were very pleased despite the thought that it may contribute to a higher cholesterol level, especially given all the jamón Serrano I consumed in southern Spain.
Blake and I were both pleased with our main course despite the unusually long wait. I could easily have finished the second glass of wine in the time between finishing the tagliere and our second course arriving… shocking, I know. Blake had the chicken liver risotto and found it a very filling entrée (and very chicken liver-y). I tried the sunchoke pesto gnocchi. I discovered that a sunchoke is an underground vegetable like a cross between a rutabaga, potato, and water chestnut. Also called a Jerusalem artichoke, it is not like an artichoke bloom, and is one of the few native tubers of North America. I digress
Potato gnocchi with spinach pistachio pesto and caramelized fennel
I’ve had Frizzi’s potato gnocchi with spinach pistachio pesto in the past and found it very delicious (see image). Thinking the experience would be much the same I was surprised by the texture of the sunchoke version. Not as firm as the gnocchi I’ve had in the past and perhaps softer than I prefer, but still light with a melt-in-your-mouth quality, I asked our waitress about the difference, thinking that it may have had something to do with the sunchoke. Seemingly displeased by what I thought was a polite inquiry our waitress stated she would “let the chef know,” without any real clarification to my question other than that gnocchi is supposed to be “light and fluffy.” My discomfort was only heightened when our waitress proceeded to slide the check onto our table without any comment while making eye contact with the recently arrived table opposite us. Now feeling very uncomfortable about my inquiry, I tried to clarify that I was not in any way displeased by my meal and that I was just curious as to the effect the sunchoke might have on your typical gnocchi. In any case, it was a rather awkward experience that I would have rather avoided given the outcome. That said, Blake and I will most definitely be visiting Il Posto again. And thank Frizzi greatly for this gem.
As the DaOiD boys said goodbye to Il Posto and headed next door to the Thin Man for an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party cocktail, we gazed upon a rather lovely installation of table lamps in the trees outside.
Side table lamps playfully hang from the trees out front of the Thin Man
RIP Deborah Curtis
Longtime viewers of the ever-satisfying “Law and Order,” please join me in mourning the death of Deborah Curtis, who passed away in California some days ago and was laid to rest in a Long Island cemetery last night at around 8:30 MST on NBC. Curtis is survived by her daughters and husband, Rey Curtis, former NYPD detective.
S. Epatha Merkerson as Lt. Anita van Buren
Benjamin Bratt more recently
Dear readers, I almost lost it last night. I haven’t been watching “Law and Order” so much at its regularly scheduled time, because that time is a Friday night, and I at least try to have a social life most weekends (though clearly there are exceptions). But I watched last night and apparently I’ve missed a fair bit this season. Not only does Lt. Anita van Buren (played by the ever-brilliant S. Epatha Merkerson, who I once saw mere blocks from my former apartment in my former home town) have cancer but Det. Rey Curtis (Benjamin Bratt) returned for a guest appearance. Longtime viewers will recall that he quit the force because his wife, Deborah (played by Pat Moya,whose picture does not seem to be available anywhere, including here), suffered from multiple sclerosis and he needed to take time off to care for her. That was ten years ago. She was buried on last night’s show and Rey called the Lieutenant to invite her to the service. While she was busy with work and overwhelmed with fears about her own mortality, she showed up at the cemetery because it was Rey. And because they have history together. And because it’s a TV program and Benjamin Bratt needs the work.
First of all, though Benjamin Bratt has clearly aged, he’s as hot as he ever was. Second, though you only saw them for a second, his daughters are now grown-up people. Boy did that make me feel old! But most importantly, Rey and the Lieutenant (I can’t bring myself to call her Anita) took time to talk
a little bit before she went back to work. He told her that he’d spoken to Lennie (the incomparable Jerry Briscoe) in the days before he’d died and that he’d sounded OK. It was like the old “Law and Order” had returned for just a moment right there before my eyes, but it was so sad! I shed a tear and I’m not embarrassed to admit it. Of all the L&O police combinations, the two most satisfying to me were van Buren/Briscoe/Curtis and van Buren/Briscoe/Green. For just a minute we were transported back to the former. And I remembered just how good it was. And then it led me to remember this, about which I need say no more:
Remember the Good Old Days?
Brooke Shields, what are you thinking?
Clearly this has nothing to do with Denver, but Denver does have me watching more TV than I would like, so there’s the connection. Add to that the fact that I’ve been sick and still more TV has been consumed.
Let’s begin with Brooke, back in the day. I don’t know that I actually remember her Calvin Klein ads, but they were so iconic that people who never saw them at the time “remember” them. A 15-year-old Brooke told us that nothing came between her and her Calvins:
Nothing came between Brooke and her Calvins
Shields had already acted in the controversial “Pretty Baby,” in which, at the age of 12, she played a child prostitute, and then came “Blue Lagoon.” Shields and Christopher Atkins as shipwrecked children (and cousins) who frolic naked and fall in love. After that the infamous Calvin Klein commercials. According to her imdb biography, Shields never stopped working,though looking at the list of credits, it’s clear that much of that work was in bad movies and as a guest star on TV programs. That changed in the mid-90s when she starred in her own sitcom, “Suddenly Susan,” and reviews were not half bad. When “Suddenly Susan” came to an end, Shields had demonstrated that, as an adult, she could actually act and she could be funny. Then she returned to guest appearances and bad movies, until 2008-9, when she starred as Wendy Healy, in “Lipstick Jungle,” based on the book by Candace Bushnell (author of Sex and the City).
Shields used her popularity to secure a number of commercial contracts, and that is the subject of my post today. Shields was seriously funny and clever in the commercials for Volkswagen, where she claimed that couples were only having children so that they could justify the purchase of a Volkswagen mini-van, called a Routan. She explained that the current baby boom, or “Routan Boom,” could be blamed on German engineering. She makes fun of herself. Check out this extended commercial:
She followed that up with a series of forgettable ads for Colgate Total, which are still running. But where she lost me, and you know, dear reader, where I am going (if you don’t have Tivo), is the following:
Here Shields advertises a drug called Latisse, which has been proven to lengthen, thicken, and darken eyelashes. Latisse will cure your hypotrichosis, what the commercials tell us is the clinical term for “inadequate or not enough lashes.” I kid you not. The word itself normally applies to people who lack normal hair growth, sometimes leading to baldness by the age of 25. It can also be used to describe those who lose their hair to chemotherapy. In other words, not women who find that Cover Girl Lash Blast just doesn’t do the trick.
Brooke, has it come to this? Were sales of your book, Down Came the Rain, not what you had anticipated? Do you have debt? And finally, after a successful career as a model and actress, do you expect us to believe that you actually suffer from hypotrichosis?
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